In Honor of Free Patterns (without ads)

From 12:00pm to 7:00pm EST today, Friday, April 26, I am going to make all of my patterns available as free downloads on Ravelry.

You fucking heard me.  Use the code TheTangledDouche to get the pattern of your choice for free.

Check out my patterns HERE and don’t forget to grab your free pattern today and come back here to post which pattern you picked!


Fresh Pick

I needed this, a quick and sweet project to forget about the previous two botches sweaters.  I’m happy to report that Sprout was knit without any ripping, tinking, back-tracking, or whathaveyou!

This top-down, seamless knit turned out exactly as I had hoped.  Funnel neck, round yoke shaping, 3/4 sleeves, and I bit longer with moderate ease to allow for some growing room.  Perfect.


So, do you want it?  For free?  Let me know, because I have yet to possess mind-reading capabilities (damn it).  I’m thinking that when this blog post gets 100 comments, requesting this pattern, I’ll post it for free on  GO!

Contest Giveaway!

I haven’t hosted a contest in a while, so let’s have a little fun.  In honor of publishing my newest pattern today, the Celeste capelet, any purchase of any of my patterns (through Ravelry) will put you in the drawing for a free pattern of your choice.  The contest begins today and runs until February 28th, 2010, at 5:00 pm EST.  There will be FIVE lucky winners!


You must be a member of Ravelry to buy patterns from my pattern store, which is right here.  Each individual design purchase will get your name put in the drawing.  If you are the selected winner, you can choose any pattern for yourself or, if you like, I can send it to the person of your choice as a gift.  Good luck!

Tuft Love Shrug

Close out Rowan Big Wool Tuft is sooo tempting, isn’t it?  But when you order twenty balls of it, what do you do with it?  I sat here, racking my brains trying to come up with something, anything.  Mr. Yarn Bearer almost got a blanket for his rack at the Station, though, we both realized that the “shag” wouldn’t match the decor (or make it into the door without a roar of laughter from Mr. Yarn Bearer’s shipmates).

On a whim, the Tuft Love Shrug was born.  It doesn’t use up twenty balls, but at least I made a dent.  This pattern is sized for 4T, but would be easy to customize for larger size.

Tuft Love Shrug

Tuft Love Shrug

By The Yarn Bearer (aka Kayla Dyches)

Yarn:  Four balls of Rowan Big Wool Tuft in Powder Puff (this pattern used all but one yard of those four balls, so if you plan on modifying, expect at least another two or three balls)

Needle:  US 17 24″ circular

Yarn needle

Gauge:  2 sts = 1″



CO 16 sts.  Work k1, p1 rib for 5″, change to St st and work until piece measures 33″ from beginning.  Work in k1, p1 rib (again) for 5″, BO.  Piece should measure 38″. 

Fold in half to make a long tube and beginning at CO edge, seam 11″ inward.  Repeat at BO edge.

Collar ribbing goes as follows:  Beginning at an arm hole edge, pick up 30 sts around entire opening (top and bottom), rib (k1, p1) for 5″ and BO all sts as follows:  Cut yarn leaving a tail about three times the circumference of the opening, thread onto yarn needle.  *Thread needle through first two sts as if to purl, pull through.  Thread needle through first st only, as if to knit, and drop st off needle.  Rep from * to end.  Fasten off last st and weave in all ends.


(If you plan on altering the pattern, measure around the victim’s recipient’s wrist and add two or three inches, multiply that number by two, and there’s your cast on.  As for length, standing with arms stretched out to sides, measure from cuff to cuff and add two inches – or more if you/they like longer sleeves.  Consider ribbing for a few extra inches as it is meant to reach mid-forearm.  Seam arms until about 2″ less than length from cuff to armpit.  When picking up stitches for collar/edging, it’s quite fluffy and a bit hard to find the right loops, so just wing it and pick up as many as you can, making sure to get an even number of sts.  Rib the same length you used for the cuff ribbing).

A word on copyright.  These things I’ve designed are for personal and non-profit use only.  Make them for yourself, make them as gifts, or make them for charity fund raisers/auctions.  You may not sell items made from my patterns and you may not sell or give out these patterns in your store in order to sell your merchandise.  Do not reprint this pattern any where else.  Think karma.  Any questions, just ask.

Sensible Socks


You know, I love striped socks, so I made them, my way.  When I finished them, I don’t know, something just said embellish.  Socks are a somewhat limited canvas when it comes to post-knit adornment, but something, again, said flower and tassels.  Instead of the title Ostentatious Socks, I now deem them the Sensible Socks.  Hopefully, however, you won’t be hearing voices in your head when knitting your Sensible Socks.

Sensible Socks

By The Yarn Bearer

Yarn:  Knit Picks Gloss in Black (MC) and Cocoa (CC), one skein of each (there’s plenty left over if you need to up the size to a US 8 foot, but any larger will probably need an extra ball of each)

Needles:  US 1 set of five dpns

Notions:  Stitch marker, yarn needle for weaving in ends, scrap yarn for heel stitches

Size:  These are knit for a size 7 (US) woman’s foot

Gauge:  16 rnds = 1″

CO 58 sts with MC, dividing evenly (as much as you can) among four needles, join for working in the rnd.  Work 1×1 rib (k1, p1) for 1.25″.  Do not break yarn, but carry yarn not in use along seam line, switch to CC and knit 3 rnds, switch to MC and knit 3 rnds.  Continue alternating CC and MC as established until work measures 6.5″ from CO edge, ending with only 2 rnds of MC

This is where we “reserve” a space for the heel.  With MC, knit around to the last 14 sts, join in scrap yarn (and carrying/stranding MC behind the stitches you are working), knit to end of rnd, slip marker (and begin carrying MC AND CC behind the stitches you are working), knit 14sts stitches more.  Drop the scrap yarn and with MC (still carrying CC), knit to end of rnd (drop CC).  Knit two more rnds in MC.  Continue stripe pattern again, beginning with CC until the work measures 5″ from heel reserve, ending with 3 rnds of CC, break off CC.

Begin toe shaping as follows, needles 1 & 3 should have 15 sts, needles 2 & 4 should have 14 sts.  With MC, knit to the last 2 sts on needle 1, ktog.  Knit across needle 2.  Knit to the last 2 sts on needle 3, k2tog.  Knit across needle 4.  Knit one rnd even.  There should be 56 sts, 14 sts on each needle.  Continue star toe as follows:

Rnd 1:  Knit to the last 2 sts, k2tog on each needle.  4 sts decreased – 52 sts.

Rnd 2:  Knit even.

Repeat rnds 1 & 2 until only 8 sts remain.  Break yarn and with yarn needle, thread yarn through the remaining sts and pull tight.  Weave in ends on inside of sock. 

This is where we return to the heel.  Trust me, the peasant heel is not as mean as it looks…


Okay,  nevermind…

Getting back to that heel, carefully pull out the waste yarn you left at the heel and pick up the 55 live sts.  Starting at the edge of the heel and with CC (leave about a five to seven inch tail), knit three rnds (I used two circular needles, so I had the top 28 sts on one, the lower 27 sts on the other).  Begin shaping as follows:

Rnd 1:  *K1, SSK, k to 3 sts before opposite edge, k2tog, k1; rep from * on other half of heel.

Rnd 2:  Knit.

Continue repeating rnds 1 and 2 until there are 15 sts left (8 sts on top, 7 sts on bottom).  Use kitchener stitch to close heel.  Weave in ends (I used my ends to close up the little holes on the heel edges).

 Unfortunately, I can’t give you the pattern for the little flower because I got that from Rowan’s Next Big Thing, using a 2.25 mm crochet hook and CC instead.  Really, though, you can use any flower pattern you like, or leave it alone.  Enjoy!


A word on copyright.  These things I’ve designed are for personal and non-profit use only.  Make them for yourself, make them as gifts, or make them for charity fund raisers/auctions.  You may not sell items made from my patterns and you may not sell or give out these patterns in your store in order to sell your merchandise.  Do not reprint this pattern any where else.  Think karma.  Any questions, just ask.

Look! Another tab of mystery!

Only, it’s not so mysterious, it’s screams “Needle Kimono!”  Well, I wrote out the tutorial for the Needle Kimonos and I hope everyone enjoys wrapping their needles in sweet, sweet hand made goodness. 

 Like I said in the tut, I haven’t got the step by step photos up yet, the holidays are brutal on my crafting time.  Be sure to check back soon as I have plans to make more Needle Kimonos, I’ll snap plenty of “action” shots then.  Feel free to leave a comment or send me a message if you have any trouble with the pattern.

Just to keep you coming back for more, I’ve got another trick up my sleeve that will soon be revealed…  Can you say original knitted lace dress pattern?!  I’m working on it now and  hope to have it written up in the new year.  Later.

Notice Anything Freee?!

See that new tab up there?  Next to Convoluted Discourse, yeah, right there.  There’s a free pattern in there, that’s right, freee.  Give me a few more days and I’ll get an actual tutorial (with step by step photos) for the Needle Kimonos. 

But until then, have a blast with the Three Quarters Apron.  Sweet name, huh?  Yeah, I thought so, too. 

**Editing to say that if you make the Three Quarters Apron, please send me pictures!  I’d love to see your aprons!  Maybe we could start a Flickr Group for it, we’ll see.**