In Honor of Free Patterns (without ads)

From 12:00pm to 7:00pm EST today, Friday, April 26, I am going to make all of my patterns available as free downloads on Ravelry.

You fucking heard me.  Use the code TheTangledDouche to get the pattern of your choice for free.

Check out my patterns HERE and don’t forget to grab your free pattern today and come back here to post which pattern you picked!


Look familiar?

You may be familiar with my Gaia shrug pattern:


Perhaps you can see the resemblance to a pattern published by Drops:


We have a growing trend here. Large yarn industry companies are ignoring the rights of smaller, indie designers by stealing our patterns to sell their products. The most recent is the issue with Trendsetter Yarns and the Wingspan pattern by Maylin. This gained a lot of exposure, but there are many cases, like mine, that fly below the radar.

I was happy to see a resolution between Trendsetter Yarns and Maylin, although TY’s apology was lacking. If you’re a fiber enthusiast, please support the rights of indie designers and not companies that choose to exploit their works. I have tried to contact Drops about the Gaia pattern situation, but they have never responded. There may not be anything I can do about them removing the pattern, but I can choose to boycott their products and the products of any company that partakes in similar business practices.


nox 002

Nox is Latin for night. It seemed perfect for my newest pattern. The Brown Sheep Burly Spun is one of my favorite super bulky yarns and makes for a quick project.


Can’t you just imagine shifting through trees in a dark forest? That’s what I envisioned for this piece. It’s perfect if your Druid. Or like big, giant, slouchy hoods. What’s unique is the backless and sleeveless design. I wanted to try something different with a layering piece, but I definitely wanted to keep the hood.

I can see this knit being popular with the COS play and LARPing crowd. It’s not my cup of tea, but I’ve seen the way your mages and sorcerers dress. Imagine if you knit it floor length, oh snap! Bitches will start droppin’ dice bags like they’re hot.

Anyway. As an introduction, you can use the Nox50 coupon code to receive $1 off your Nox pattern purchase. It’s only for the first 50 purchases and expires at 11:59pm on March 9, 2013, so jump on it!  Get the pattern here.

Bigger and Faster

I just placed an order for bulky weight yarn… So, I can make another Pearl Clutcher. Yes, I’m going to adjust the pattern for bulky yarn. If my calculations are correct, the time it takes to knit it will be cut in half and the yarn I’m using will only set you back about $60.

For those of you want to knit the Pearl Clutcher, but feel like the time a DK weight cardigan would take would be too much for a cardigan covered in penises, you now have your chance. And no excuses.

My next project…

The Pearl Clutcher cardigan has certainly had its time in the spotlight, hasn’t it? You know, when I initially posted the pattern, I had mentally prepared myself for a lot of hate mail and shaming (not that I have any shame). With the exception of a handful of ladies who briefly pulled their heads out of their asses the sand to hurl some meager insults, I’ve been met with more supportive and positive responses than I could have never imagined. Thank you for having a sense of humor.

On to other things! My next project isn’t covered with penises, but may trigger a few pearl clutchers further. I’m leaving you with a teaser photo and for now I’ll just say that this will be the breast blanket ever.


The Pearl Clutcher’s first day out

Today was cold with a biting wind; the perfect day to take my new Pearl Clutcher cardigan out for it’s maiden stroll around town. My first stop was my LYS, Gosh Yarn It, where I intended on purchasing yarn for a new design (and, OH! what fun the pearl clutchers will have with this project).

I arrived and browsed the store while a group had begun to gather for the Saturday knit in. As I eyed some super soft Classic Elite, a woman asked if I knitted my sweater. Yes, so she asked to get a better look. The moment of truth arrived; being wrapped in knitted dicks has never felt so naked… Ahem.

I walked to the table they gathered around, opened my arms, and moved my hair. After a few moments of your standard compliments, a woman exclaims, ” I WAS JUST LOOKING AT THAT PATTERN ON RAVELRY!” She pressed the women to look closer, could they see it? And a wave of realization creeped in and the laughter ensued. They got a chuckle and poked fun at the people who couldn’t see it right away, then laughed harder when it came to them.

The Pearl Clutcher cardigan was a success. One lady took a picture for her Instagram, the topic turned to steeks and fair isle, I grabbed the yarn I needed, and went on my way.

On my way home, I stopped at a busy pizza parlor. No one noticed my cardigan. Then a stopped by Barnes and Noble. Still, no one noticed. I imagine that beyond fiber enthusiasts, most people won’t notice the details of a sweater.

You can knit the Pearl Clutcher and still where it out. I mean, it’s meant to be worn and it is quite warm; stranded wool knits are perfect for those bitter winter days. I’d love to see some finished projects and would be thrilled to see photos of your FOs!

What I’ve learned on Ravelry

Raveler since October 15, 2007

Yup, that’s me.  I was just sitting here thinking about the past few years I’ve spent as a member of Ravelry.  I’ve learned a few things that I would like to share with you:

  • Every time the word “copyright” is written in the Big 6, someone has an aneurysm.
  • Patterns with lengthy, extraneous titles don’t usually live up to them.  Throw together a garter stitch scarf in Red Heart Super Saver and then get fairy-fucking-tastic with the name of the pattern.  Start with something like “Lady of the” and add an adjective like “enchanted” or “mystic”, followed by a location such as “forest”, “sea”, “wood”, or “truck stop shit house”.  Get creative with it.  Then add a $7 price tag.  Pat yourself on the back because you’re a professional now!
  • Disagree (1)?  DEAL WITH IT.
  • There are about ten times more knitted/crocheted penises than vagina.
  • Knitted/crocheted bathing suits = instant camel toe.
  • Does anyone buy any of those dishcloth patterns?!?!???
  • Now, I really want to design something that I can name “Lady of the Enchanted Truck Stop Shit House”.
  • Disagree (176)?  You’re probably an asshole.