Ninja Warrior Knitter

In non-knitting news, I submitted my application for Season 5 of American Ninja Warrior. Check out my submission video…

I hope the regional tryouts aren’t in Miami again.


The Pearl Clutcher’s first day out

Today was cold with a biting wind; the perfect day to take my new Pearl Clutcher cardigan out for it’s maiden stroll around town. My first stop was my LYS, Gosh Yarn It, where I intended on purchasing yarn for a new design (and, OH! what fun the pearl clutchers will have with this project).

I arrived and browsed the store while a group had begun to gather for the Saturday knit in. As I eyed some super soft Classic Elite, a woman asked if I knitted my sweater. Yes, so she asked to get a better look. The moment of truth arrived; being wrapped in knitted dicks has never felt so naked… Ahem.

I walked to the table they gathered around, opened my arms, and moved my hair. After a few moments of your standard compliments, a woman exclaims, ” I WAS JUST LOOKING AT THAT PATTERN ON RAVELRY!” She pressed the women to look closer, could they see it? And a wave of realization creeped in and the laughter ensued. They got a chuckle and poked fun at the people who couldn’t see it right away, then laughed harder when it came to them.

The Pearl Clutcher cardigan was a success. One lady took a picture for her Instagram, the topic turned to steeks and fair isle, I grabbed the yarn I needed, and went on my way.

On my way home, I stopped at a busy pizza parlor. No one noticed my cardigan. Then a stopped by Barnes and Noble. Still, no one noticed. I imagine that beyond fiber enthusiasts, most people won’t notice the details of a sweater.

You can knit the Pearl Clutcher and still where it out. I mean, it’s meant to be worn and it is quite warm; stranded wool knits are perfect for those bitter winter days. I’d love to see some finished projects and would be thrilled to see photos of your FOs!

Crocheted Skateboard

It’s been hectic with an increased performance schedule, the booklet, and this:

It’s all crochet and needle felt over a skateboard. 

The art show this is going into is tonight, the Blood, Sweat, & Boards Art Show presented by Underground Clothing & Skateboard Company.  I’m also performing, so it’s going to be a big night.  There are first (limited edition production run of the artist’s deck), second ($1000 gift certificate to Stranded Tattoo parlor…  I WANT TO WIN SECOND PLACE), and third ($150 in art supplies from Utrecht) prizes, so I’m pretty excited to see how it turns out.  But for now, I’m going to get back to my booklet knitting.

What I’ve learned on Ravelry

Raveler since October 15, 2007

Yup, that’s me.  I was just sitting here thinking about the past few years I’ve spent as a member of Ravelry.  I’ve learned a few things that I would like to share with you:

  • Every time the word “copyright” is written in the Big 6, someone has an aneurysm.
  • Patterns with lengthy, extraneous titles don’t usually live up to them.  Throw together a garter stitch scarf in Red Heart Super Saver and then get fairy-fucking-tastic with the name of the pattern.  Start with something like “Lady of the” and add an adjective like “enchanted” or “mystic”, followed by a location such as “forest”, “sea”, “wood”, or “truck stop shit house”.  Get creative with it.  Then add a $7 price tag.  Pat yourself on the back because you’re a professional now!
  • Disagree (1)?  DEAL WITH IT.
  • There are about ten times more knitted/crocheted penises than vagina.
  • Knitted/crocheted bathing suits = instant camel toe.
  • Does anyone buy any of those dishcloth patterns?!?!???
  • Now, I really want to design something that I can name “Lady of the Enchanted Truck Stop Shit House”.
  • Disagree (176)?  You’re probably an asshole.

Pattern Booklet on the Horizon

That’s right!  I’m in the process of writing my first pattern booklet that I anticipate to be available in the next three months.  Currently, I’m swatching, writing, and doing way more math than I ever thought I’d have to do after high school.

Wondering what to expect in the booklet?  For now, I can tell you that there will be men’s and women’s sweaters and accessories as well as some home comforts.  Featured yarns include Cascade 220, Cascade Epiphany (WEE!  this is a new yarn blend of alpaca, silk, and cashmere), Brown Sheep Burly Spun, Brown Sheep Cotton Fleece, Malabrigo Twist, and Malabrigo Rasta, to name a few. 

I’ll update soon with sneak peeks and details as they develop.

What to expect in 2011

I didn’t get as much knitting in 2010 as I would have liked.  Most of my time, in last half, was spent training in aerial silks and improving my hoop dancing skills.  I’ve been get hired as a performer a lot more and solo travel has been a big time suck as well. 

But now that clients are scheduling well in advance, I finally have time to knit… and write.  I’m working on a pattern booklet, so expect secret project photos and tid bits about new patterns.  I’m excited!  2011 is supposed to be a good year for Leos, so I’m going to run with it.


Also not knitting.  Remember the tattoo I was talking about?  You can’t miss it.

The photographer, in my opinion and without any exaggeration, is Savannah’s best.  You can check out his website and Facebook  if you need more proof.  To tell you the truth, we did this little picture show in five minutes (maybe less), that’s talent.

The tattoo was designed and inked by Johnny Thief who has recently moved his tattoo parlor (Seppuku) back up to New Jersey.  Where in the hell am I going to get superior tattoos now?  This piece took twenty-six hours over a course of five sessions.

Hoop Shoot

Not knitting. 

Photography by Erik Bingesser (who happens to have a website right here).  I also have a separate website for this non-knitting material:  Riot Hooping.


Knitting stereotypes.  Let us break them.

My 2009 Honda Rebel… which has saddlebags solely for the purpose of carrying my knitting to and from my favorite yarn shop (Wild Fibre, on the corner of Liberty and Bull Streets in Savannah).  Have you seen my tattoos?  My full sleeve was finished in January, but I haven’t gotten around to photographing its piratey glory (this weekend, maybe?). 

These cats are trying to kill me

I have three cats (in chronological order):  Tippy (8), Dina (7), and Calypso (7 months).  Tippy is a fluffy mother fucker while Dina and Calypso are short hair kitties.  Although, Dina grooms Tippy more than Tippy grooms Tippy.  You can probably imagine that my house is a hair ball factory and it’s killing me because I have carpet.

Of course, the only place they want to ever puke is on the carpet (Why not the tile, huh?  Like the time Dina was ON the tile, started yacking, and literally launched herself onto the carpet to barf.  Thanks, Dina, you’re the best.).  Not just any carpet though, it has to be the living room, right in the middle.  Those little bastards.

I’m saving my pennies to buy that self-locking laminate wood flooring.  If we do it ourselves, it’ll cost $983 for everything (the flooring, tools, underlayment, circular saw, spacers, everything).  Well, we have to do it ourselves because when we paid Lowe’s to come out here for their estimate, they said $5,200 for my four-hundred square foot living room (jaw on floor goes here).  Yeah.  That estimate was for LAMINATE flooring, we’re not talking about fancy-schmancy wood here, it just looks like wood.

I’m going to put up a little goal calculator so everyone can see the progress of my no-more-scrubbing-carpet-fund.  Right now I have…  $76.  WOOT!  Almost there, but not really.